Almost time!!

It's only a few more weeks before we start trying to conceive. We got some good news recently about several things. First, it turns out that our donor will be coming back to the area full time!! He will move back at the end of July, so we will only have to have his sperm shipped to us for the first try. Some really great friends gave us their fertility monitor to use and I have been using that to make sure I am on the right track to predict my most fertile days. We met with our lawyer and have set up all possible legal protections we can with our decision to try at home. Since our donor won't be legally considered a donor, we needed to put the most legal protections possible in place. Our initial donor agreement will be modified to show our intent as well as our donor's. When the baby is born, our donor will sign a relinquishment of parental rights, and Teal will apply for joint conservatorship over the baby. This should protect us, the baby, and our donor. We can't wait to get started trying for the baby!!

Better news

When we found out about the silly laws in Texas and the FDA recommendations, we were pretty upset and lost. For a few days, we were pretty distraught. We didn't know how we were going to accomplish getting pregnant. We really wanted to use our known donor, but weren't sure if that would now be possible. We wanted to make sure to have him as a donor and not a father, and he wants this too. So, we decided to go about it a different way. Despite Texas law, we thought that if he would be ok with us trying to conceive at home that we could draw up enough contracts and such to keep both parties safe. So, we decided to ask him if he would be ok with that, and if not we would go with an unknown donor from one of the many cryobanks in the U.S. that will ship anonymous donor sperm to hopeful couples. I did a lot of research in preparation for a negative answer from our donor, and found many excellent resources. I am, however, very happy to report that our donor is open to trying at home and we plan to start trying in early July!! Our donor is working out of state quite a bit these days, so we have found a way that he can ship his donations to us. We have calls in to our lawyer to make sure and draw up the proper protections for us all. We can't wait to get started!!

Texas Law (is lame).

Just wanted to include some background on the Texas law issues that we ran into, forcing us to change our plans, in case anyone runs into the same issues.

Texas law says that in order for a known donor to be legally considered a donor and not a father (with all the rights of a father), the insemination must be done by a physician. The problem with this is that the FDA prevents physicians from using fresh donor sperm. They don't outlaw it completely, you just have to get the sperm tested for diseases two weeks ahead of time and sign a contract saying that you know the risks of doing so (which are that some diseases can be present but not detectable yet). That is IF you can find a doctor willing to perform the procedure that way. Otherwise, as the FDA recommends, you must have the donor make several donations, test it, freeze it for SIX MONTHS, and then test it again before use. IF the donor's semen survived the freezing process, which apparently 1 in 6 men's sperm will not do. Another problem in Texas is being able to find a cryobank that is willing to work with known donors. There are several out of state, but the closest one to Texas is in Colorado.

Are we surprised that things are so difficult in Texas? Well, in the end I guess not. At first we were surprised and upset but now that we know, and can share this information with others, we are on to better things.